let me look into my crysal ball....

If people watching were to be made a job, i might be the first to take it up. Creepy as it may sound [fear not, no stalker tendancies], quite simplistically said, it is very interesting. Imagine you're sitting with a friend or a loved one and there's silence and you ask the question, "what are you thinking". It's almost like that, except you don't actually ask the question out aloud and the answers are usually what you assume might be going through their head based on what they're doing.

It's not mind reading or reading your thoughts but rather just a simple attempt at deciphering based on expressions.If a picture can say a thousand words, imagine how much non verbal expressions and actions can convey.

1) I saw an old man in a wheelchair crossing the road and his hands were turning the wheels with such speed and it seemed like he was thinking to himself  "I have the strength and ability to manage this on my own. I can do it." Ofcourse, in all probability i might be completely wrong and he could be swearing to himself in hokkien.

2) Watching a pregnant woman wearily plonk herself onto a seat and i imagine her thinking "dear god, i need to get this baby out now , Now, NOW and what the fuck are these assholes staring at, havent they seen a pregnant woman"

3) Kids are the best to watch. There's so much curiousity that you know they're constantly wondering about various things like how it would be to turn the big round wheel the man in the bus keeps turning, whether his/her mother would buy some chocolates, why they have to go to school, and so much more that i could keep going on.

It's a free form of artistic expression and it makes you appreciate the simpler things in life as you observe more, watch more and imagine more than the plain old boring self-contemplation in deciphering the meaning of your existence. Call me nuts, but i like it. It makes me a lot more aware about non-verbal cues given by friends and family which allows me to respond appropriately. Give it a shot. It's a good way to kill time if nothing else convinces you.

Passion.

A friend's post actually triggered me to write on this particular topic.

Passion, often an overused word in every given context. What truly does the word passion mean?

Merriem-Webster defines it as intense, driving, or overmastering feeling of conviction, a strong liking or desire for or devotion to some activity, object, or concept.

Based on this definition, i see few such activities/objects in my personal life that i've displayed such passion and conviction towards. You might be thinking, "I feel sorry for her." But think about it, do you actully have a passion for many of the things you do, for certain activities, or a certain cause in your daily life. Majority of us, lead pretty ordinary lives, doing the normal stuff, often not even enjoying some of the activities we have to do, so where's the question of passion?

I envy those, like my friend, who end up doing something which they are passionate about or have interests/hobbies in their life which they are truly passionate about. Ofcourse, this does not mean, what, us "unpassionate" people do is completely worthless or useless. Nor does it mean that every single one of us out there have to be truly passionate about something. The truth of the matter is, passion is more of a self-discovery process, as I've come to realise. No one can force it upon you. Nor does the repeated usage of the word make you a passionate person. You might get momentary adrenaline rushes and subsequently if you fall upon a cause/activity/object you're truly passionate about , good on ya, because there starts your journey. If you dont't manage to discover anything you're truly passionate about, then the fire dies and you go on with life. At this point, I would like to make the distinction between passion, interest, likes and similar words which DO not actually imply the same feeling. The intensity and implications are quite different with mild words such as "like" starting at the bottom of the ladder, moving on to "interest", then higher intensity words like "desire" and way up the top where the king(or queen) of all these words sits; PASSION.

Passion is like an undying flame while all our interests/likes/desires are like torch lights with momentary brightness which gets turned on and off as and when. Till we find (or never find) that undying flame, let us enjoy our torchlight moments and not get completely obsessed with discovering where our true passion lies. For all those people out there with passion, conviction and commitment towards your work or a cause or an activity, keep the flame burning and continue to inspire the rest of us.

"Pen" your thoughts

Ever since I've started blogging, I've realised what a good medium it has been in allowing me to express my thoughts, views, opinions as well as generally rant. At the same time however, it has led me to think about the good old fashioned form of expression; via the pen and paper.

"All good writers begin with a good leather binding and a respectable title" a quote from Finding Neverland has always remained engraved in my mind. One now wonders if the leather bindings are even present today? Why write when you can type? "The pen is mightier than the sword" has been tweaked along the lines of "the keyboard is mightier than the gun". Once, while contemplating on resurrecting this lost form of expression, i attempted writing during the course of a flight journey. Sadly, I could not go beyond a few lines. It made me ponder about my increased dependence on technology as well as how illegible my handwriting had become.

At this point, i would like to clarify that I as well as everyone else is deeply indebted to technology and the new frontiers and possibilities that have opened up for us. Online blogs, journals, diaries and what-have-you, have given the opportunity to many to open up, express their views in the world wide web. It has gone beyond regular ranting, to political,societal commentaries, recipes, blog shops etcetera.

However, it brings us to the subject of privacy. What once stayed within the safety net of leather bind and pillowcase covers is now literally an open book. With pseudonyms, third person terminologies, anything and everything can be put up for people to read. So much for the "Dear diary, today Eric kissed me and held my hand" days which only the author had the privilege to read. Having said that, one has to be careful about what he/she says pertaining to sensitive issues, politics, key icons, etcetera especially in controlled environments.

It is certainly a welcome change, one where more and more individuals are expressing themselves and giving opportunities to many others to read their expressions. While all of us bloggers/online writers seem bent on somewhat protecting our identities, we are much more open about our thoughts. However, once in a while, i yearn, for a nice thick journal, the scent of new paper, fresh ink and being completely lost in thought, while i write away.

In conclusion, i embrace technology and i enjoy blogging. But, i'm considering taking out the pen and paper once in a while and seeing where creativity takes me. I suggest all of you out there do it too. After all, we do not want to forget our roots ;).

Relationships

Recent conversations have gotten me thinking about relationships, intricately woven gossamer strong invisible threads of trust, love, hatred, affection, respect, doubt, and many other human emotions that connect one individual to another.

• relationships are difficult to manage which is why in the corporate world they actually have relationship managers who get paid to manage relationships
• in the non-corporate world, we're our own relationship managers and most of the time we do not actually do a good job
• unfortunately for us, we have gone up the evolutionary ladder and have the double edged sword-sixth sense-and that means you cannot mate with like a hundred women without repercussions, you cannot kill your mate once you're done with him, you cannot kill your offspring if he/she falls off your back
• what is it about our own lives which makes it utterly complicated and messy for us to deal with but somehow always manage to advise friends on their issues
• it is never black or white with relationships(damn the intricacies)
• it is also strange how irrationality takes precedence over logic and reason
• screaming/shouting/lying/cheating does not help. believe me. It just creates knots in those threads
• open communication actually makes sense once you get through the irrationality phase
• the importance of a listening ear (you do not have to offer opinions/views unless asked and if asked and completely confounded as to what to say, hugs/phrases such as "it'll be okay" would suffice)
• however, mature constructive comments are valued too

Relationships are complicated, regardless of whether its with a friend, a boyfriend, girlfriend, parents, siblings, etc. Since we cannot avoid or get out of dealing with issues that may exist or crop up, the best way to deal with those intricate threads would be to not act as emotionless pricks and practice the art of effective communication.

p.s for a lack of creative juices a.t.m and given the seriousness of the topic on hand, the title is going to be plain and boring

My take on stay at home moms/wives

"What would like to do in life"

"At some point, i want to get married, have kids, stay at home and look after my kids, cook and bake for the family and go for Sunday brunches..etc"

"WHAAAAT!?!?" Followed by laughter...

The whole women's lib thing has obviously done a good job to the point that now when a college graduate possibly hints that she would like to be a stay home wife/mother, people laugh, as though they've heard a joke. Well, they have no reason to think someone would actually be serious about something like this. Why would anyone in their right mind, after spending 3-4 years getting a decent undergraduate degree with ample opportunities waiting for her out there, be willing to spend the remaining 40 odd (approximate) years of employable life at home, tending to the house? Also, given the economic realities of today, it makes more sense when the man and the wife are both earning to support the family and pay off the many loans (education, housing, etc). It makes sense for every capable woman out there to work and make money but have we become so obsessed with the "career woman" image that what once used to be quite common and traditional amongst our own mothers, grandmothers, etc has now become a joke?

Nothing wrong with being a career woman, nothing wrong with juggling a career and a home, and likewise, nothing wrong with wanting to make your household a career choice. In fact, it is probably as hard or even harder managing a household. Also, a career is only valued till the balance between the house and the job is maintained. Once the scale starts tipping in either direction, chances of jeopardizing either one are high.

Ofcourse, we must be grateful to technology as well as flexible workforce policies that have been implemented in many companies which have given women the opportunity to have businesses staying at home, freelance, short-term or even part time jobs.

At the end of the day, what all of us need to realise is that being a housewife/stay at home mother is a noble profession indeed. Here, ofcourse i am talking about typical households. Talking care of a lazy husband, doing the cooking/or at least attempting, laundry, taking care of the little one(s), cleaning, grocery shopping, amongst many other responsibilities which could differ from house to house, she probably works harder than many career women and hey her 23 days of annual leave are not even guaranteed okay! And two key requirements of this job; sacrifice and patience.

I conclude by saying, priorities change as your life changes. Whilst many of us girls who are just starting out in our careers cannot imagine the settling down aspect of our life yet, as we get into our careers and start moving up that corporate ladder, it is important we get our life into perspective and make wise decision that involves placing our loved ones/family as a key factor in the decision making process. We definitely do not want to end up as old maids with lots of money

99% perspiration

After attending Symposium Neun Thinken yesterday(3rd April) and hearing inspiring words from social entrepreneurs, i left with "PASSION", "BELIEF", "JUST DO IT", etc running through my head. But i shouldnt be forgetting various other "words" which were mentioned; along the lines of hard work.

All of us out there have these visions, ideas, plans, and most likely we are all burning to get started on the journey towards our goals. Correction : LONG ARDUOUS journey. I feel it is this 99% perspiration that differentiates the passion from desire. I've always imagined goals as a peak on a high mountain (as many of us would imagine it as :) ) and i imagine many people going on the journey to conquer that mountain and reach the peak. The journey is not easy with forests, rivers, seas, desserts, rocks, boulders, heat, wind, snow, and every other obstacle we can imagine. At various points, people falter and fall out of the path, because they are simply too tired or because they are distracted by something else along the way. Eventually, the numbers start reducing as the journey progresses. At the end of the entire journey, only a few have conquered the peak.

This actually points out a few key lessons

1) The difference between passion and desire.

2) Identifying whether what we have is desire or passion and this i believe would be one of the hardest to identify.

3) Work= Force*Distance which indicates that hard work is not a walk in the park

4) The importance of support systems to push us, give us a hand when we fall, to provide words of advice, to motivate and to support.

5) The wise saying "failure is a stepping stone to success" makes perfect sense. So maybe you failed because you were distracted or because you lost energy but hey if the goal is where your passion truly lies then try try again right.

At the end of the day, it is the hard work that is going to ensure you reach what you've set yourself to/aimed to achieve. The 1% inspiration matters. A lot! But if you do not even give the remaining 99% perspiration a shot, then clearly you do no value the inspiration. It is just a desire rather than a passion.

I conclude by saying I am a lost sheep like many of you out there, with no clear direction or focus as to what i want. I can say that i have many desires but till now i can't clearly say i am passionate about any one particular thing/cause/issue. But if and when i do get there, I am definitely gonna give my 99%.

the A word

One of the key lessons you learn in life, the grow up and be an adult one, is by far one of the toughest lessons which even so called "adults" have yet to master. What is it about the dreaded A word that frightens you to the point where you're willing to acknowledge that inner child in you which you chose to ignore while breaking curfews, getting tattoos, planning random exotic escapades, attempting to make life altering decisions, etc. Responsibility, the natural association with the word adult often puts man into this state of panic. "With great power comes great responsibility" ? It seems way cooler in Spiderman than in reality.The thing about adulthood is it seems like a constant learning journey. I don't think there is any particular time period or age that you could mark out as the time you would become a full fledged adult. And its apparently a steep learning curve, so as you progress up, mistakes are not as easily forgiven or taken lightly.

But can we escape this? Possibly not.

Because escaping it or denying it is just not an "adult" thing to do.